Our President is a demagogue like Zaphod Beeblebrox


Elliot Askari Rabe, South Student and Guest Writer

On the night of the election one month ago, me and many other Democrats were gathered in front of T.Vs at homes, restaurants, and ….other locations with T.Vs. We were constantly checking our phones, acting like we knew what states the election was gonna come down to, and I myself forgot to eat that night. We Democrats, liberals, socialists, humanists, people of common sense and decency, a majority of us were eager to see this new victory in American history where the USA would elect… not the worst human ever.

America proceeded to elect the worst human ever, throughout one of the most grueling and torturous things I’ve ever been subjected to. I’d rather be forced to listen to my dentist talk about how schools should teach Christian values, while he was performing a root canal so I couldn’t shut him up about it, than have to experience the disbelief as I mutter the words “maybe we’ll get Texas,” in my last desperate attempts at hope.

I wondered if maybe everyone should just retreat to their own island, and never would a human communicate with another human ever again? I continue to believe this, but since that’s not going to happen, I have to find some area in the landscape of American future that isn’t simply dead, rotting foliage, and I realized that come next election, this may be the push in the wrong direction that this country needs to realize that it isn’t working, and that there need to be enormous changes.

For the fifth time in history, the electoral college, a system put into action 250 years ago to give the 3 farmers in North Dakota as much power as the entire city of St. Paul (I believe as a joke, a brilliant, uber destructive joke), has mis-represented the popular vote for the second time in only 16 years. Now, had Hillary Clinton been elected, this country could have very well gone on ignoring this issue as much as I ignore my health, but now that it is freshly relevant, we may be able to start dismantling this system.

For me personally, before mid 2015, I was your average Democrat, who supported your average Democratic values. However, ever since I first learned about the Bernie Sanders ultra-human, I have increased my knowledge and interest of the way government works by 5000%, and have developed my own ideas about the problems and fixes to society, and have even decided that the Democratic party is not far enough on the left winged spectrum for me. My politics is about as much a part of my identity as my family.

I can only speak for myself, but I suspect there are many others like me that have been sucked into politics. Despite how interesting this election was, if Hillary Clinton had won, many would simply sigh in relief and pray that Donald Trump wouldn’t run again in four years. However, she didn’t, and for the next four years, Trump will continue to occupy the news by doing things like phoning Theresa May at midnight, or calling firefighters wimps. Our disgust for Trump will be cemented in our blood, and a new generation of teens who had to spend their first years as adults under Trump’s presidency, will take politics as seriously as Trump doesn’t.

In addition to this, and… oh dear lord, thank god for this… is Trump’s similarity to a young child. Donald has no real political values. He is a vessel of flesh and fiber, who feeds off of attention and recognition. He is about as corruptible as it gets, and because of that, he can be absolutely random. A regular staunch Republican would be rock solid on most issues, but Trump simply isn’t. And while I doubt he’s gonna end up being anything but bad, I can at least hope that Ivanka gets him in a room for 20 minutes to tell him that global warming is a thing.